daddy issues { dusk && OPEN! }

[lily]

Clouds covered the bright blue VertigoClan sky in long, soft rows. From the place Reflectedrain stood at the edge of the forest near the edge of the cliffs, he could see what felt like the entirety of the world. The breeze coming down from the mountain was cool, and as it ruffled his pelt, the tom shivered, enjoying the rare summer day that didn't make him feel like hiding in the water all day. Summers in VertigoClan were much easier to bear than those in TempestClan, what with the water readily available, creating more humidity - the thought made Reflectedrain's face crumple up in disgust. If he ever had to bear large amounts of humidity, he'd probably die.

He was alone out in territory for the most part. When he'd left camp, he'd heard apprentices making a racket toward the lower end of their lands and had quickly made his way further up, the rise in altitude not bothering him; he'd long grown used to it. Plus, the view was much better, and easier for thinking. Reflectedrain had been spending quite a bit of time thinking.

It seemed as though VertigoClan was filled with new life. The lush growth all throughout the territory was soothing, and the trickling streams and waterfalls were astoundingly beautiful. But, that wasn't the type of life that consumed Reflectedrain's thoughts: it was the kits that the clan seemed to be overflowing with. Jetfang and Lilythorn's kits were adorable, but they were both tightly wound around their kits' paws, and while there was nothing wrong with that, the tom missed the moody presence of the black and white tom with his amber and blue eyes. Then, there was Duneshade and Splashmist's kits. Duneshade was a tom only six moons younger than Reflectedrain, and yet, he'd found a mate and settled down already. It wasn't that he was jealous perse, he just felt like a failure. All the she-cats he'd ever spoken to seemed so uninterested, and there were plenty of other things to worry about in life, so he understood, but what was so wrong with him?

ooc: ew gross whiny reflected. where did that come from?

[dusk]

Kits were crazy. They were high energy, high demand, and completely uncontrollable when they weren't asleep. They needed constant attention or they caused trouble in seconds: harassing other warriors in their work, being nosy in the medicine cat den, or otherwise just making chaos whenever they left the nursery. Duneshade loved them. When he'd first learned that there were kits on the way, kits that were his, he'd been reasonably worried. More than reasonably, really. Extremely worried. After all, how could a cat not be worried when kits were involved. Kits were an unknown, a wild variable, no one could say for certain what a kit would be like. What if they were too uncontrollable? What if they were sickly? What if they hated him? Or worse, what if they hated their mother? The possibilities were terrifying. The warrior wasn't sure why he'd been so worried, after all, in the end he'd ended up with two sons who, thank Starclan, didn't hate either of their parents.  

They were a pawful, though. How Splashmist and the other queens managed to be with the kits all day was beyond him, just playing a few hours left the dark-furred tom spent. Tired from kit games or not, there were still warrior duties to attend to, and that meant braving the midday heat to hunt. The tom wasn't assigned to a patrol, but he'd taken extra duties upon himself as a sort of self-inflicted atonement. 'I still don't know for sure if I'm standing on shaky ground with the clan.' He'd made his mistakes and he was living with them, for the most part it seemed not to be that big a deal, but Duneshade couldn't help but worry.

'Some cats are good at hiding their feelings. They could hate me and I'm just not aware of it. But I'll show them. I'm a loyal Vertigoclan warrior whether they see it or not. My kits will - !'

His fears would have to wait. He'd traversed the territory without thinking about where he was going, and now he found himself at a rapidly thinning treeline, a pale shape visible through the trees. The tom slowed his pace, narrowing his eyes at the cat before he recognised the warrior a few moons his senior.

"I went to search for prey, but it looks like a found a broody tom instead," he smiled as a spoke, leaving the shelter of the trees. It was a joke. At least, the tom hoped it was. This was an odd place to spend the day alone after all.

ooc: wow ok i'm out of practice i'll check this for grammar and spelling later
 

[lily]

He'd been completely spaced out by the time someone had joined him, and Reflectedrain jumped nearly a tail-length up off the ground. "Dear StarClan, Duneshade! I was almost on the edge of the cliff!" He yowled, panting as he regained his breath. The tabby tom chuckled with relief and shook his head. "Can you imagine going back to Flamingstar and having to tell her you frightened me right over the edge?" He gestured over the edge with his head before taking a few more steps away from the cliff.

The tom was calmer now, and he tilted his head slightly, his emerald-flecked eyes shining with amusement. "Indeed, you did find a broody tom." Reflectedrain admitted, shrugging, before flashing a smile at his clanmate. "I get a little sad when I'm on my own, what with all the toms around here having to be dads, haha!" He was teasing mostly, though he knew that Duneshade would be able to tell that something was off.

He seriously felt like he was acting like a she-cat. But he felt alone, and it was because everyone else was busy with the rest of their lives. Reflectedrain hadn't even landed a girl yet! He'd almost had something with Spellwish, but then she'd gone crazy. Were all she-cats like that? The tom sure hoped not. "I mean, congrats, man. I'm just alone now, y'know?" He said with a laugh, though he felt increasingly awkward.

[dawn]

Splashmist finished thanking Jetfang and Lilythorn for agreeing to watch her sons ("are you SURE?") and began to pad out of camp. Vertigoclan warriors were strangely nice. Tempestclan had prepared her to meet the nastiest, meanest cats she'd ever known, but in contrast with her former clanmates, Vertigoclan cats were complete sweethearts. The tom with the mismatched eyes had laughed deeply at her disbelief when he'd volunteered to watch Mottledkit and Scorchkit. Lilythorn had joined in and together they were keeping the five young toms in check. It was nice that her boys had playmates, anyway. Lilythorn and Jetfang's litter was only a moon younger than hers.

Duneshade had gone out to hunt awhile back, after a long play session in which Mottledkit burst into angry mewls of distress and wouldn't stop for several minutes- twice. He sure didn't get that behavior from me.... Kits were so annoying. She did love them though. If only her sons would sleep a little more and maybe chatter a little less incessantly. (Seriously though, where did they get that?)

Splashmist had begun to follow Duneshade's scent trail, but it was difficult because she was overwhelmed by the scents of so many new, unknown cats. One such scent seemed to go in the same direction as her mate's, but Dune's was much fresher. Hmmm... wonder where he's headed?

It wasn't long before she heard her mate's voice and she had to stop herself from bounding forward to find the tom. Pinning her ears flat on her head, she crouched down and began to sneak very, very slowly forward through the dense undergrowth. Luckily, her small frame was well covered by bushes and grass. She came to stop looking out of the darkness within a honeysuckle bush, the sweet scent clinging to her fur as she peeked out to see whom Duneshade was with.

It's another Vertigoclan warrior... Her vivid green eyes darted between the tom she knew and the tom she didn't. She noticed that in some ways the tom she didn't know looked a bit like her, although his pelt was more fluffy and a warmer tone. Splashmist felt sort of bad for hiding in the bushes, and she wasn't quite sure what had driven her to spy on her mate. She just wanted to know how he behaved in his natural habitat, she supposed. Splashmist! Nature observer. 

words 395 tagged whoever idk notes blerp
 listening to some indie crap idk

[dusk]

Had Reflectedrain met with an unfortunate accident at the bottom of the cliff-face, well, Duneshade really couldn't be blamed now could he? After all, it was the older warrior who'd chosen to risk being so close to a sheer drop in the first place. "Cliffs are dangerous," he replied with a casual flick of his ear. Why would a cat be crazy enough to perch themselves at the edge of a cliff anyway? Suppose it hadn't been Duneshade coming out of the forest. He could have been a giant bird. Or an angry badger. Or some threat that could have made a lone cat a tiny stain on the rocks below... Probably best that the tom didn't voice his thoughts. "And that's why I'm standing safely over here." He beckoned the tom closer with a small jerk of the chin, letting loose a small sigh of relief when the tabby stepped away from the drop.

He wasn't offended at least, that was good, but there was something off about that little laugh at the end. Maybe he was reading too much into it. Then again, there really was no reason to stand around all alone staring out across the territory. "Yeah, you really don't strike me as the loner type." Good Starclan, was the warrior feeling down about all the new life in camp? Duneshade shook out his pelt against the breeze, luckily the wind gave him a bit of an excuse to look uncomfortable. "But, I mean... you don't enjoy not being tied down?" Probably not the best way to put it. "Ah! That is -" Great, now he had to try and fix this didn't he? "You've always seemed like a free spirit, y'know?"

The warrior shuffled his paws, face twisting into a wry expression. He glanced over his shoulder, not entirely sure what drove him to look back into the woods. It wasn't like there was anything there. Probably he was just looking for an excuse to break eye contact for a moment. Anything to try and forget what a mess they were both making this conversation. Did all tom's get love-lorn when they saw other warriors with kits of their own? No, that couldn't be it. Maybe it'd be better for him to just shut up a moment and let the other speak his piece. 

[lily]

Reflectedrain nodded lamely for just too long - of course cliffs were dangerous! So why come startling people? He let his annoyance fade before he answered the younger tom, smiling slightly. "It'd be a tragedy for anything to happen to you, what with your pretty young mate and those kits!" Reflectedrain shook his head. "They're cute, y'know. Can't believe there's five of them terrorizing Lilythorn and Splashmist all day!" He said with a laugh, all the while moving away from the cliff's edge. All this talk of falling or having an accident was making him nervous.

"I can't imagine having that much patience," Reflectedrain mused aloud, "to handle five toms at once!" His eyes twinkled good humoredly, and his goofy smile was spread across his tabby maw. Once again he was nodding at Duneshade's words. "Yeah, yeah, really, I'm not. I just felt like I'd be a nag if I was begging you or Jetfang to come hunt or pick up an extra patrol. I don't want to bother anyone, especially you guys, what with the kids and the mates and stuff." Reflectedrain grinned sheepishly, unable to believe he was talking about his stupid feelings and stuff. It was silly, feeling as though he was drifting around while the rest of them had exact places to be, where they truly belonged.

He looked thoughtful when Duneshade asked him if he enjoyed being free. "Well, yeah, it's nice and all sometimes, but I don't really have anyone." The tom's bright eyes went dark. "I left my mom behind in the old lands, y'know? And my mentor, my sister... Even the gal I cared about." Reflectedrain shrugged for about the umpteenth time that day. "I don't want to bother anyone about it though."

"Maybe I'm just too free."

[dusk]

"The queens are the ones who gets the short end of the stick." Duneshade grinned, yellow eyes narrowing with a hint of mischief. "If I get tired of playing I can always excuse myself and say that there's some important warrior business to attend to," he laughed. Not that he'd do that. Splash would never forgive him if he tried pulling anything like lying to get away from the kits. He smile took on a wry twist at the thought. Speaking of which, he was supposed to be hunting wasn't he? Not exchanging gossip with another warrior but... ah well, the day was still young. He'd make sure not to return to camp empty-pawed. "They're four moons old now, almost big enough to be apprentices..." 

The tom shrugged, changing tact. All this talk about kits seemed to be bringing Reflectedrain down even more, but lately they were all Dunshade seemed able to talk about. Maybe he was taking this parenthood thing a bit too seriously. "Splashmist would understand if I wasn't able to show up to the nursery as often. You wouldn't be nagging, I swear," he smiled back at the tabby. The smile faltered, though, when the warrior kept on speaking. Memories of the old territory were something he never gave that much thought to, although he would never be quick to admit the fact. There'd been little tying him down to the lands they'd left behind besides a few sentimental memories of his kithood in a different camp. Everything else had followed him to their newer home. Duneshade supposed he was lucky in the regard.

He sat back curling his long tail around his paws, letting a moment of silence drift by, thinking, before he spoke up delicately. "The floods took a lot away from you, didn't they?" Hopefully this wasn't the wrong thing to say. "I guess even just a few moons make all the difference. I wasn't a warrior for all that long before we had to up and leave." A few moons... a few moons? The wandering thought took root, and Duneshade suddenly found himself laughing. He hadn't meant to laugh, really, he hadn't. "I'm sorry I'm not laughing - not at you." Dear Starclan this had to look bad. Laughing immediately after an important admission. "It's just... it's weird isn't it?" He posed the question before recalling that he'd still not given any explanation for his fit. "To see. Well, you. Th-th-that a tom that doesn't even have twenty moons behind him has a mate and kits. It's a bit ridiculous isn't it?"


ooc: wow dune wait to kill the mood

[lily]

Reflectedrain joined his friend in laughing. "Toms have it easy, don't they?" The tom was amused. He could picture himself someday making up an excuse - a patrol that he'd forgotten about, or something - but then his thoughts took a dark turn. His father had probably done that, sneaking off to do whatever he did while Radianteclipse dealt with the kits in the nursery. His ears twitched uncomfortably as Duneshade continued to speak. "I haven't had an apprentice in ages." The tom mused aloud before pausing, looking at the black tom straight on. "Not that I'm asking!" He said with a laugh, shaking his head at his own foolishness.

Reflectedrain grinned at the other tom. "Y'sure? I don't want to drag you off without Splashmist's permission." The tabby said with a laugh, his green-flecked eyes glittering with amusement. As the mood darkened, Reflectedrain shrugged and nodded accordingly to each question Duneshade asked. "It's behind us now, thank StarClan." The tom said in reply to the obsidian tom. He tilted his head curiously when Duneshade began to laugh. "How so?" He asked before his clanmate had finished. "Ah." The blue-eyed tom mulled it over for a moment, growing thoughtful before speaking. "Nah." He said, shaking his head and half-smiling. "I was just like you, honestly. I had a gal I was crazy about and I'd have settled no problem." The look on his face was happy as he recalled the days he'd spent with the black she-cat and her silvery-blue eyes. His whiskers twitched before he shrugged. "It just didn't work out; I'm so glad that you and Splashmist found a way. It's something that anyone would be envious of." Reflectedrain finished with a smile.

[duneshade]

Toms most definitely had it easy, Duneshade had to concede with an inward smile. As much as he loved his kits, he wouldn't trade places with his mate in a million moons. But then, maybe this conversation wasn't taking the best turn. Had that been a flicker of the brown tabby's ears? Or maybe he just imagining things again, too focused on what might be rather than what really was. "I'm just saying. Get on Flamingstar's case and she might just give one of them over to you," he mewed warmly. "I'll warn you, though, Mottledkit's quite the handful." 

He almost rolled his eyes at the teasing about his mate. Almost. "Hey, I'm my own tom," he replied mock-proudly, puffing out his chest and tilting his chin upward. "I don't wait for anyone's permission." That was far from the truth. Very far. The only time he'd thought about really taking control of his life and saying "to the Dark Forest with the rules" he'd almost ended up running away from his clan for the sake of romance. Not that it would have been his worst decision, but with a few moons of hindsight, well, he wondered just how well two newly-made warriors would have fared on their own. It had been lucky for the both of them when the clans had been forced to leave their old territories. 

"I never knew you'd been close to anyone." Duneshade cocked his head to one side. Then again, Duneshade had never payed much attention to what went on in the clan. Gossip wasn't his strong suit. His brow furrowed in thought, had he seen Reflectedrain spending time with any particular she-cats? Well there'd been... ah. "I guess that's none of my business, though," he backtracked quickly. The dark-furred cat ducked his head at the other's words, tail flicking abashedly. "Sometimes I think things should have turned out differently." He murmured under his breath. "Not that I'm not glad! But, well, I guess I'll always wonder if we really made the right decisions. In a dozen moons, will we still be happy? I don't know -" A heavy sigh. "At least your tastes stayed within the clan boundaries."

[splashmist ★]

luckily, from splashmist's position under the honeysuckle bush, she could hear the conversation quite well. unluckily, if she tried to drag herself out from underneath of it and directly towards the toms, it would be incredibly embarrassing. sure, she didn't exactly have a graceful form, long bodied like her mate's, but she wasn't a complete idiot, and she knew that it wasn't the best impression to make. she didn't think it was a good idea to come bursting into the conversation, that was, until she heard the smaller of the two toms meow, very softly, "Sometimes I think things should have turned out differently." 

had she misheard? splashmist almost twisted a muscle as she snapped to attention, ivy green eyes widening. "I guess I'll always wonder if we really made the right decisions." she felt a pang in her heart as though a fox were ripping it right out of her chest. he's taken me all the way to his clan, knocked me up, and now he's going to leave me because he isn't ready to settle down yet. the knowledge that she was going to lose everything, his words cementing in her deepest fears about joining vertigoclan, caused her to almost yowl in alarm. and then, to top it off, the worst part. "At least your tastes stayed within the clan boundaries." the small gray tabby bristled, sinking her claws deep into the wet ground beneath the bush. 

faster than she had chased after her last squirrel in tempestclan, splashmist backed out from under the bush and stormed towards the two toms. she didn't care how crazy it was to just appear out of no where, or the fact that a tiny, sticky little yellow flower was clinging to her back, and another was on her hind leg, and another on her head. "TASTES, is it? what am i, some sort of exotic prey now?! your little tempestclan warrior! too bad you didn't just get with a nice vertigoclan cat! sorry to disappoint you so much!" splashmist half screeched at them, staring almost unseeing between the two, lashing her tail furiously back and forth. her heart was pounding in her chest. "i'm sorry our relationship is so full of regrets for you!" the other stupid stuff her mate had said was also bouncing around in her head, but it wasn't staying still enough for her to yell anything quite yet about him "being his own tom" and not being "tied down" by her or whatever. 

the little gray tabby reeled around and bared her teeth in a snarl at reflectedrain. "oh, and i haven't caught your name yet, but hello." she snapped, trying to smile through the hurt and rage on her face. "thank you for keeping my mate company but i think we need to talk a bit about how he REGRETS KNOCKING ME UP AND CONVINCING ME TO LEAVE EVERYTHING I'VE EVER KNOWN FOR HIS SORRY TAIL"